Sunday, January 1, 2012

Hello 2012

A new year.  I am so excited!

2011 was a fantastic year for A LOT of my friends.  People got engaged, got married, started new jobs, started grad school, et cetera.  I would not be surprised to hear that for a lot of people 2011 was the best year of their life so far.

For me, 2011 was one of the worst years of my life.  With the exception of the last 3-4 months, 2011 was full of sickness, tears, anxiety, and unmet goals.  Obviously, I am very glad it is over.

Back to those last 3-4 months: they were months full of self-revelation and honesty.  I learned so much about myself: who I am, why I am the way I am, what I want, what I need, et cetera.  And although I don't have solutions for everything that plagues me, I have awareness, and that is sometimes enough.  Sometimes you can feel so strongly about a situation, and not really understand why.  The Soul Searching (capitalized because it's been a huge part of my life recently) Journey I've had has really been eye opening and amazing.  I'll just leave it at that for now.

So, 2012.  A new year.  A fresh start, as "they" say.  I was in the car for a good 90 minutes today, on the way home from spending NYE with some dear friends, and I started thinking about what I want for myself this year:

1. I want to be kinder to myself.  Life is too short to hate yourself every time you look in the mirror.  Life is too short to constantly compare yourself to others.  Life is too short to make yourself sick with guilt because you ate a couple of cookies that day.  So I like to be in control, right?  I've admitted that.  But I've realized that I like I be in control of situations or people around me.  And what does that do myself?  It fills me with anxiety and disappointment.  In order to be kinder to myself, I need to set my bar of expectations at a reasonable level and not just for me, but for those around me.  How do I do this?  I do not know.

2. I want to treat my food with more importance.  Although compared to the average person I eat very mindfully, there is always room for improvement.  Lately I feel as if I am treating food as I do material possessions.  For example, some people want an iPad just because they want it.  Just because they have  to have it, and so they go buy an iPad because they need that rush of making a cool purchase.  When it comes to sweets, I tend to dig in because I need to have a similar rush.  I would like to eat my food carefully and slowly, and because I know it's doing my body good.  I will be fulfilling both #1 and #2 of my 2012 goals if I eat with more intention.

3. Yoga.  Just for fun, I have two yoga goals for myself.  One is to do a headstand without any wall support, and the other is to be able to go into a backbend from a standing position.  I've got to keep some things about 2012 lighthearted!

I think the most important thing about New Year's Resolutions, or any type of goal you set, is that you be realistic.  If you're used to eating fast food all the time and being a couch potato, and then you decide effective January 1 you're going to do the South Beach Diet and go to the gym every day, you are setting yourself up to fail!  Mark Twain said it pretty well: "Habit is habit, and not to be thrown out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time."

Happy New Year everyone!  2012 is going to be a great year for me!  

1 comment:

  1. This was heartbreaking at times to read. I kinda wanted to give you a hug. I could relate in a lot of ways! A lot! I hope this year is better for you! Don't be hard on yourself. I know that's easier said than done but as humans, we were built for error. :) Chin up friend!